The biggest issue I dealt with as Zetaman was online critics. Because I was doing something completely out of my comfort zone, I gave weight to critics and trolls. I thought they saw the flaws in what I was doing. I believed they were holding me accountable. In truth, I never trusted myself. The lack of self-trust has crippled me in so many ways. It is tough because I’m scared of being arrogant. Self-trust is not arrogant. Self-trust is knowing that what I am doing is the right thing because I am the authority of what is going on in my life. Self-trust is believing that I am capable of handing the situation I am in.
I let A LOT of people erode what little self-trust I have. I’m working hard on developing my inner sense of self-trust. I have to… it is a part of self-care and being an adult.
This morning I wrote a short story explaining the creation of the Naked-Verse. I had a wacky dream which was about this subject. It’s a very meta story. The gist of is that all my old ideas died in a universe implosion/explosion. This lead to a new universe. The explosion was so violent it created 24 extra universes. The multiverse is part of a greater multiverse strain. Grant Morrison came up with this idea in his Final Crisis series (I think). Each of the Naked-Multi-Verse has a Greek letter assigned to it. This is because the Zeta in Zetaman is a Greek letter. Zetaman is the center of each multiverse.
In my twenties, I didn’t do a lot of drawing. In fact I did very little. I didn’t write either. I didn’t know what TO write. I kept writing the same story about aliens over and over again. Sadly, it wasn’t until my first divorce that the creative spark ignited. I don’t believe my first divorce was responsible for my lack of creativity. If I wanted to be creative I could have. But tragedy has a way of… changing your outlook.
I’ve been looking back at some of my old comic characters. They are truly cringy pieces of work. I can recycled these old ideas to add to my over-arching story about the Naked-Verse. So, after I’m done with Issue #11, I’ll get this 8 page story posted in the Mythos Novellas section of Mythos Imprint. It’ll be my ode to my childhood ideas.